How did you do?

In some ways my experiment was harder than I thought it would be. Please don't think that I went around all the time calling people names. That's not the issue for me.  Although, today I called Leah a grumpy gills. Oops. The real issue surfaced on day two.

On day two I realized that I will say things like "can you believe so and so said this?" Or something like "this person did that?" I get annoyed by what people do or say, or don't do or don't say. It will bother me when people don't do things the way I would do them. It took me the whole seven days to realize that I have no control over the choices other people make. I can only control my reaction to them. And to be honest, that's hard sometimes!

The second half of my week long experiment was spent at a family reunion. I did this on purpose. Why? I'm still trying to figure that one out! All of us were in the same house sharing the same space. That is hard for me. I'm what you might call a 'controlling' personality, and to have no personal space and not enough hot water for a shower gets me in a rut.  Just to give you an idea, I had a list of things I needed to bring before leaving, and Steve truthfully added "a good attitude" to the bottom of my list. I had to make a conscious choice to look for the good in the people around me. Which is also hard for me. I hate to see people be disrespectful to my family or friends, but that doesn't mean I have to judge them in a critical way. I had an epiphany while there. Whatever I look for in others I will find.  I will always be able to see things that people do and how they annoy me or I how I don't agree with them. But, and this is a big but, I can always find something positive if I'm really looking for it.

I'm also trying to figure out how I can say something about someone without it coming across in a negative way. For example, on the third night of the experiment,  I was telling Steve about how the kid's swim lessons were going. I said that Tyler was a lazy swimmer. That has a negative tone to it, even though I didn't mean it as an insult. What I should have said was Tyler needs to work on improving his endurance to become a better swimmer. Make sense? I was mentally spent trying to use my words in a way that would remove the negative, but not only that, spin it in a positive way.

Am I glad I did this? Absolutely. Did I do as well as I wanted? Nope. But it was very good to help me reflect on my attitude and the choice I have when responding to those around me. I really did feel more conscious of what I was saying. So how did your week turn out?

Who's with me?

The subject of this post has been on my mind for weeks. I sort of hesitated to post it because it is quite telling of the person I am. But I am ultimately posting it because of the person I want to become. And by posting this, I am holding myself accountable. So here it goes!

I chatter, judge, and say things about other people that I probably wouldn't say if they were there. The more I think about it, the more I want to change this behavior. I want to be the kind of person that people know their name is safe with me. I am also doing this because I want to have more positive things in my life. Why say something negative about someone else? What good can possibly come from that? I often justify my behavior because what I'm saying is the truth. For instance, I saw a lady a few weeks ago with the worst case of "Utah hair" ever, and I just had to point out how bad it was to Steve. True or not, it should not come out of my mouth.

Therefore, I have decided to put myself to the test. I am not going to say anything negative about anyone, true or not, for one week. Seven days. That's 168 hours. Or 10,080 minutes. As I mentioned this to Steve, he said, "you know that includes yourself, right?" Curses! I am overly critical of myself, about my post baby body, habits, weaknesses, parenting fail moments...the list goes on. This might be harder than I thought. However, the week will force me to think about what comes out of my mouth.

By removing the negativity I create, I'm allowing room for positivity to flow in. In the recent months I have noticed just how negative the world is. I want to contribute to goodness. If I am not, who will? So, I ask, who's with me? Who is in for seven days of positive thinking and speaking? Who will join me in creating more goodness?

Starting Wednesday, July 17th until the 24th I am going to think before I speak. I'll post my thoughts and experience when the week is up. Who's with me?