The other night one of my favorite shows was on TV. I love A League of Their Own. Mostly because it reminds me of all the good times playing volleyball. I digress. A clip of the movie really struck me while I was watching it. Tom Hanks' character says, "Baseball is what gets inside you. It's what lights you up, you can't deny that. It's supposed to be hard. If it wasn't hard, everyone would do it. The hard...is what makes it great."
I know he is talking about baseball, but that quote made me think of motherhood. It is hard. And honestly there are many days where I just want to quit. These two little lives are completely dependent on me. If I am not 100% invested in their learning, success, and well being, who will be? It is overwhelming. I often feel extremely inadequate and undeserving of two perfectly healthy, beautiful children. Especially when I read of such heart breaking stories like this. Do I really appreciate the sacred gift of my children?
I have been thinking a lot about this. I beat myself up a lot that I'm not doing a craft with my kids three times a week, or living at the library, or making great tasting organic meals. I feel like I must be failing because I don't have furniture in my home that I refinished myself after finding it at the thrift store, or because I don't wear the cutest clothes in the smallest possible size, or smile at my kids when they are whining and driving me bonkers.
This is where the movie quote comes in. Motherhood is hard. It is supposed to be. It is the test of this life for women. To learn how to humbly ask the Lord to help us with the this awesome responsibility we have to raise these perfect little souls entrusted to our care. Raising Tyler and Hannah is the most worthwhile thing I can be doing, so naturally it is going to require all of my mental, physical and emotional strength in order to be successful. While I am NEVER going to love the tantrums and disobedience, I am going to love them forever. I am always going to struggle with keeping my calm when Tyler splatters his toothbrush on my newly cleaned mirror, but I will also always love watching Tyler sing his heart out for me on Mother's Day. Hannah's bad manners and goofing off at the dinner table is going to drive me insane, but her snuggles when I read to her make even the most frustrating of days seem not quite as bad. For with all of their quirks, I have my own. They forgive me on a daily basis. They keep me humble. All they need from me is for me to "show up" each day for them. I can do that!
So do I really appreciate the sacred gift of my children? The answer is a resounding yes! I would not trade Tyler and Hannah and my role as their mother for anything else on this earth. Because the hard is what makes it great!
5 comments:
I loved this post Erin. All so true! And you know it's funny because I see you as that mom who does tons of activities with her kids, cooks awesome meals, and looks amazing and fit while doing it. And I totally agree with the tantrums then snuggles! The hard parts are made bearable by the amazingness of the good parts. You are such a good mom and friend, and I look up to you!
Wouldn't it all be so much easier if we could get 12 hrs of sleep a night? ;)
Perfect. Perfectly, perfectly said. Your children are beautiful and wonderful- to me, they are such a great reflection of their faithful, loving parents. I love you. You are such a good mother!
Love this and love you. You are such a great mom. I love when you said this:
"If I am not 100% invested in their learning, success, and well being, who will be?"
We have the MOST IMPORTANT ROLE in our children's lives, now especially, and probably always.
And as a sidenote: I like getting older. Every day I get more comfortable with who I am and what I like to do ... and like NOT to do. I think people's talents are amazing, but refinishing furniture is just not my thing. I'd rather buy it. And it's also good to remember that the most important size is the size of my love--not the size of my pants.
I LOVE YOU. You are awesome. Being your friend makes me happy.
Thank you so much for opening up and so eloquently sharing your feelings. You summed up exactly how I have been feeling lately, so inadequate, wondering how in the world I am going to give Lucas everything he needs. It is good to know that other women, who I look up to so much as being absolutely amazing, feel the same way from time to time. Thank you! I needed to hear this thought.
Well put, my friend! I'm glad you can put into words what I can not.
love you
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